I don’t claim to be an expert in the sexual, romantic, or social relationships within the realm of BDSM and its communities.
However, I’ve read on it, studied it, and interviewed members for the purpose of research. As a result, I do know a thing or two.
I somehow brought myself to read 50 Shades of Grey through and through not long after it became a “hit.” It made me cringe from the first page (oh, God, the writing), but I considered it necessary for me to keep up with what was happening in the world of erotic and romantic fiction.
I can’t help but be seriously bothered by this series’ popularity, and the claims that it is making BDSM more acceptable and popular somehow.
Christian Grey is a severely troubled man, and an abusive stalker. His “contract,” amounts to little more than an urban myth; it is not at all a standard in Dom/Sub relationships. I am sure there are exceptions, but the active BDSM community is made of people who value trust above all else; receiving and executing pain as pleasure requires keen understanding of an individual’s desire and, most importantly, their personal boundaries. To force constraint of any kind on a person the way that Grey does would be unacceptable in true BDSM relationships and communities.
I would like to rip the writing apart, but that’s another rant altogether.
I understand popular and “trash” literature. I enjoy it. I’ve even published on literature than may be considered “trash.” I recognize people’s freedom to enjoy this work.
However, I urge you, readers, to consider just how much this is fiction. The Christian Greys of this world need psychological help, not a woman on her knees.
Memes by the sixth siren of pandora on Tumblr. Permission for use requested and granted.