Sorry about Mother’s Day, my childfree girlfriends: Moms aren’t any more special (or unselfish) than you
It’s hard for people who’ve lost their moms. It’s hard for those who had crummy moms — and believe me, it hasn’t escaped my notice that in our cultural glorification of motherhood, the fact that a lot of women who’ve had children have done a piss poor of raising them seems to get conveniently left out a lot. And it can also be hard for women who don’t have children, in this season of constant reminders that the best and most important “job” a woman could ever aspire to is motherhood. So to all my female friends who aren’t moms, I just want you to know that I call BS on this garbage too.
Let me be clear; I don’t want to eliminate Mother’s Day. Go on, celebrate mothers!
Well, celebrate good mothers.
I suppose it’s because I’m at “that” age. I’m nearly 30, and most people I know are married, or getting married, having babies, etc. And, that’s great. It’s just not what I’ve chosen to do.
Instead, I, and others like me, have pursued a career, experiences, and dreams. I assume I’ll get married one day, or at least have a permanent, devoted partner. But, it’s not a goal for me. I will contribute to the world in other ways. And, as for children…let’s just say it will have to be by accident or other unforeseen circumstances.
Despite this lifestyle being more common than it once was, society still glorifies motherhood. In fact, it over-glorifies it.
Not all mothers are good mothers.
Mother doesn’t always know best.
Mothers don’t always deserve respect.
Not all women need to be mothers to be fulfilled.
Not all women need to be mothers to be worthy of recognition.
Don’t get me wrong; I don’t need a “holiday” to feel like I’ve accomplished something. I just don’t like feeling alienated by this holiday and the culture surrounding it.
Some people don’t have mothers.
Some people had terrible mothers.
Some people will never be mothers.
Some mothers lost their children.
Some mothers have awful children.
Some mothers wish they hadn’t given birth at all.
The list is endless. Can we please celebrate mothers without excluding others? And can we please stop acting like motherhood is the “end all, be all”?